Why Young Adults Need to Know About Their Parents’ Estate Planning

For one family, college age was the right time to discuss their estate plan, finances, death, and the possibility of needing long-term care with their children. While this might not have been their two adult daughters’ idea of fun on a Friday night, it is a smart thing to do, says a recent article, “We Told Our Young Adult Kids All About Our Money—Here’s Why” from AARP.

Avoiding these important conversations can leave children confused, frustrated, and resentful if they’re unexpectedly forced to deal with these issues without critical information. Parents often don’t want to discuss their estate plans, wishes for long-term care, or decisions about medical interventions in end-of-life situations. The children aren’t in a rush either. A study of locally owned death care companies and related professionals in 21 states found the average person doesn’t start planning for a parent’s end of life until they are 50 and their parents are 70. But life doesn’t always work that way.

For this family, a grandparent died at 61 of a heart attack. They never discussed their estate plan or finances with the father. The grandfather didn’t have a will, despite being an attorney in his second marriage. The grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at age 65. Their son had to dig through years of files to figure out how to manage her finances as her abilities lessened.

This is why parents of any age need to have an updated estate plan. Adult children need to be informed if they are named as executors, healthcare surrogates, or agents under a power of attorney. They’ll face an uphill battle if they haven’t been part of the discussions around the plan and don’t know what will be expected of them.

These conversations and the accompanying estate planning can’t wait until you reach some arbitrary definition of “old.” They need to happen when you’re relatively young and your children are mature enough to receive the information to be prepared for a worst-case scenario.

Children also need to know what happens if both parents die at the same time. Parents typically name each other as primary executors and assign their adult children as alternate executors for their estate, meaning the children will handle the assets and accounts.

They need to be informed about life insurance policies, the process for collecting death benefits, and the balances in their retirement and brokerage accounts. If there are younger children, the older children need to know the plan for a guardian and how expenses will be paid until the child reaches the age of legal majority or graduates from college.

A conversation also needs to take place in case of incapacity. A list of all monthly bills to be paid, the accounts used to pay the bills, and information on how long-term care costs are to be managed are needed.

The children also need to know where the estate planning documents are, including wills, living wills, power of attorney, the deed to the home, car titles, Social Security cards, passports, marriage certificates, and birth certificates. They need to have complete contact information for your estate planning attorney, CPA, and financial advisor.

The more information your children have, the better they will be equipped when they need to step up. There is no perfect time for the conversation. However, having it shows your children that you care enough about your own lives and their lives to be proactive.

Having open conversations about estate planning ensures that young adults are prepared to step in if the unexpected occurs. By sharing information about wills, powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and financial accounts, parents provide clarity and reduce stress for their children during difficult times. At The Werner Law Firm, our estate planning attorneys guide families in creating comprehensive plans and facilitating these important conversations, so everyone knows what to expect.

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Reference: AARP (September 15, 2025) “We Told Our Young Adult Kids All About Our Money—Here’s Why”